Religion

If you are offended by people stating their beliefs stop reading now. If you are like me and can enjoy reading about how other people think and believe then keep reading but remember everyone is entitled to their beliefs.
I didn’t raise my children “in church” per se. They were taught right and wrong. They were taught to respect others and to do the right thing. We attended church sporadically throughout their childhood. Mainly because of my insecurities. I’m very uncomfortable around strangers. And very uncomfortable in situations where I don’t “know” what is expected of me. One thing I am very proud of is that my 3 boys all found God on their own. To me that tells me so much about them as kids. I know their faith is true and not forced upon them. Tyler went to college and attends a church in Russellville. He and Stephanie both worked at Camp War Eagle for a couple of summers and this past summer worked hard and raised money to go on a mission trip to Guatemala. They are very selfless and giving young adults. Ryan went to Russellville and has started on the same path. He began going to church while down there. Kaleb attended church for a while with my sister and her kids and then he found a girl and decided he wanted to attend her church. I didn’t care what got him into church he thrived in it. He wanted to go and wanted to learn. He asked questions. After he died one of his brothers told me something that helped me find Peace. They said that Kaleb did his research. He accepted God, he learned about Heaven. And they felt that he made his decision based on what he learned in church. They felt he knew Heaven was a better place and he chose to be there and not struggling here. Just hearing that really gave me Peace because it’s true Kaleb didn’t do anything without having the answers to all his question.
But that’s not what this is about. I’m writing this to explain my need for Church now. Before we lost Kaleb I didn’t think I was strong enough to go to church and feel judged. I was to scared of the strangers and not knowing how it worked. I was raised Methodist. Attending church with my grandparents. We sang songs out of a hymnal while a piano or organ played. We stood and sat as we were instructed by the minister. Nowadays Church is different. There are songs with bands and words on a big screen. People walk around and meet people. Those are the things that make me very uncomfortable. I’m a little old school. But I know now that I can do ANYTHING. Jimmie and I talked after Kaleb’s death and decided we wanted to go back. It gives me comfort to be there and to hear the word. He bought me a devotional Bible that I read each day. We have begun listening to Christian radio. I was Christian before but now I’m learning about the Word. While I still may feel uncomfortable in Church I know I need to work through that. The same as I’ve worked through the first week of exercise class in a room full of strangers. I’m stronger than I ever believed I was. I know I can do anything and I will not fear things as I have before. I don’t have to fear my worst nightmares because I lived it and survived. I’m not afraid of death and I don’t think I ever have been. I’ve always believed when it’s my time to go I will go. No matter what I’m doing. Whether I’m skydiving, driving a car or sitting in a chair when my time is up I will go in Peace. And whether it’s religion or an exercise class don’t let fear stop you from bettering yourself. Don’t doubt yourself. You can handle a lot more than you think you can.