avoiding the springtime blues

It's setting in. We're getting close to graduation. I'm working hard to maintain a balanced emotional state.  Softball has started. I don't get to play until my knee is fixed but it's getting me out of the house to go watch everyone and cheer them on. It's springtime and I can't take the dogs for walks or runs because of the knee and then dealing with Kaleb's death it's just one more negative taking away from my favorite things but I'm still good. I may have moments of sadness and self pity but I don't let them last long. There are to many positive things around me to be negative. We have each other, our kids, our families, friends and jobs. We have a nice place to sleep every night and vehicles to get us where we need to be. We don't worry about where our next meal is coming from. So I'd say we're very Blessed.
The wedding is getting close. Getting to spend time preparing for it. Excited to see them begin the next chapter of their lives.  It's my favorite time of year. Everything is blooming and there is so much sunshine. It helps to lift some of the heavy fog that had settled around me during the winter. I have always struggled with some depression during the Winter, this one was just a bit harder. We'll stay busy now that it's light when we get off work. That helps a lot but it doesn't take away all the sadness. I know we'll never be who we were before. That life is behind us. We've begun a new life and have to learn how to keep the memories strong without reliving the past over and over wondering what we could have changed.  There is a fine line there.  Sometimes I feel like Johnny Cash's song I Walk the Line. Just my line is a little different than the one he was walking. I won't let myself cross that line and lose myself in despair.