Best and Worst

copied from previous blog site

I dreamed about him last night. It’s always great when I have a dream
About him but last nights was different. It was so realistic. It started out like life now and then we got a message that we needed to come to the camp for boys and it’d be explained why when we got there. So we went and when we got there it was a camp for teenagers that needed help and they told us that Kaleb was actually alive and had been there for the last 6 months working on learning how to handle his problems. We started crying. He was alive. Then we got to see him. It was time for him to come home. The feelings of elation, happiness, joy, relief were overwhelming. There he was. He was happy and seemed like real Kaleb. He came home and he was like a different grown up Kaleb. He did things without being asked. During part of the dream he was working in the yard and then I couldn’t find him. I called and searched for him. Neighbors were helping me look. Then we saw him off in the distance. He was going back to Heaven. It was just a temporary visit. The heartbreak was so overwhelming. To have had that hope and that happy feeling of how it used to be and then have it taken away again was so heart breaking. I cried and cried all over again. Then I woke up. Normally after I dream about him there is a feeling of Peace but this morning there was just sadness. It was like he was right there. We could touch him, hear him, smell him he was alive again.