One year ago today we lost Kaleb. September is National Suicide Prevention month. To help spread awareness I ask that anyone who sees this post please SHARE it.
If someone needs help give them the National Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-8255
Our Story:
1 year ago today we were a normal middle class family. I had a grown stepson, 2 sons in college and our youngest son Kaleb was a senior in high school. Kaleb was our handful. He was smart, opinionated, funny and not always socially appropriate. He had a grown up sense of humor from the time he was small. He had the art of administering a punch line down perfect. Kaleb never met a stranger, or at least they weren't a stranger for long. He'd start a conversation with anyone. He also struggled with severe ADHD. His plans after high school were to join the military. A perfect child he was not. Same as I was not a perfect parent. Of all our kids, Kaleb and I butted heads most often. There was a very wide gap between what I deemed acceptable behavior and what he deemed acceptable behavior. Not seeing eye to eye led to many disagreements. I am a stubborn hard headed person and I met my match with him. Maybe it was my love for him, or maybe it was my want to ensure I raised proper young men that would make positive contributions to the grownup world, I'm not sure, but there was something about him that had me putting in a lot of hours to keep him on the right path. Helping him find his way in a world that wasn't always equipped to handle his exuberance.
He came into this world 7 pounds even. Even as a toddler there was no stopping him. It took multiple people to keep him out of trouble. 1st week of kindergarten we got a call that he might need to be checked for ADHD. Our pediatrician just said he'd been expecting us, just not as quickly as he got sent. He spent 12 years on every ADHD medication made. He suffered different side effects with different medications. We stuck with the ones with the fewest side effects that enabled him to remain focused the longest. School was a struggle for him from day 1.
Kaleb was over the top with everything. He talked loud, he told the funniest stories, but his laughter was the best. He had the biggest belly laugh you've ever heard. That and his singing. Boy couldn't carry a tune in a bucket but he belted his favorite songs at the top of his lungs. The boys bathroom was off our living room and there were many times I had to ask him to lower the volume in the shower because we couldn't hear the tv. He was also the first one to hold a door open for a stranger, or help an elderly person. If he wanted to accomplish something he did. I remember the first trip to Silver Dollar City when he was finally old enough to ride the "big" rides. He rode every roller coaster there with both hands thrown up in the air. No care in world, no fear whatsoever. He was an adrenaline junky. "He was" That is how I speak of him now. He was my baby boy. He was my partner in crime.
On September 15, 2015 at 4:31 pm, I got an 8 second phone call from my husband that changed our life forever.
One year ago today. Since then I've studied the statistics. I've shared countless educational things about suicide statistics and suicide prevention. That's all I can do now. Try and educate others on how to get help so another normal family doesn't have to learn how to navigate these difficult waters. So as we go through this day, one year since losing our youngest son, I ask that you let those around you know that you are there for them. You can listen and there is help available.
To anyone that needs help, feels down or doesn't know where to turn. Call the number above. Talk to your family or your doctor. Know that what you are feeling now is temporary and there are ways to get help. I pray everyday that somehow, someway we are able to make a difference in someone's life. We will miss Kaleb everyday for the rest of our life. That feeling is not temporary. There is nothing that can help take away the pain for us, his brothers, grandparents, extended family, friends or acquaintances.
Thank You for sharing. I lost my brother a year ago the 27th. I will never understand why. He had lost his wife 5-6- yrs. ago but seemed to adjust. His garden was his joy , He planted it so he could give it to others. He was always helping others. He had problems,His down fall was alcohol but only in p.m. He slept it off. then he got medical problems. Low sodium, Dr. said stay out of heat & cut alcohol. , etc etc. He just couldn't , He loved to be outside. We caught him mowing his grass on riding mower. towel wrapped around his neck, sweat pouring. But he said he was just mowing a little. the Temperature was 97* on his porch.my hubby pointed it out to him. He said he was about finished & was going in. When we left I gave him a hug sweat & all and told him to take care of himself and I loved him. 10 days later He cleaned his garden out. called one of his daughters. who was out of town,so she called her sister. why she waited to go. I'll never know. She went at 5 p.m. She found him in the back yard. with his rifle, he had taken his life, his mind snapped I will never understand. It is so sad ! We will never forget him. My prayers are with others who have gone thru this. But it's such a waste. Thanks for this. We are sorry for your loss. I pray it helps someone to stop & think !
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your loss. I cannot even begin to understand how you feel. My first husband committed suicide, he was 19, I was 18. I was so mad that he did that to me. That's how I felt at the time. We had a son, he was only one
ReplyDeleteyear old. I have never understood why he felt everything was so hopeless. I know his mother and father never got over losing him. That was 43 years ago.
Thank you for sharing, My son is 11 years old and has severe AD/HD Severe ODD, anxiety, and ocd. and honestly we butt heads as well. I'm trying to get him the help he needs but he doesn't want it.
ReplyDeleteDo not give up. I was 12 years old when I attempted to take my own life. We all have something that will click. My parents weren't aware of the full extent of my pain. They simply saw me as a troubled and sad tween. I hid it from them, from the world. What did help is they remained very involved in my life and encouraged me to do different things. Youth group at a new church and a new set of friends pulled me from my Darkness. They knew more than my parents about my struggle but most importantly they understood my pain. Have you tried a service animal? It might be worth a look. But don't give up Mom!
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