There are still days my life seems like a dream and I'll wake up and everything will be normal again. Logically I know that won't ever happen. But there is that one piece of me that still seems to be holding out hope. And I believe that one piece isn't allowing me to move forward in the healing process.
In the last 10 months I've learned many things.
1. You don't truly own anything. Everything you have is on loan to you from God. Nothing is yours forever. Praise Him for everything positive in your life. Give thanks for everything big and small, from your family to that cup of coffee you drink each morning.
2. You can survive your worst nightmare. It won't be easy but it is possible to make it through. You will learn many lessons on the journey. You will have many thoughts and emotions both good and bad. You will think things and wonder how could I have ever thought that, or even said that in some cases but it's all part of healing.
3. You will meet all kinds of people along the journey. Some of these might be where some of those thoughts came from. Sometimes when people are enduring a difficult journey I've learned sometimes all they need is a hug, a smile, or just a shoulder to cry on. Advise is good, but sometimes total strangers if they find out what happened say some pretty awkward things.
4. You don't always make progress. There are many regressions along the way. Sometimes I'll go days, weeks or even at times a couple of months where I'm really making progress and then I'll have a set back. I've been in a setback recently. Maybe it's his upcoming birthday, or the anniversary of his death but I haven't been making progress lately, more like treading water.
5. You need a strong support system. People who understand that sometimes you need to be around people and doing things, and sometimes you just need to be alone with your thoughts. I'm blessed to have Jimmie. He is my loving supporting other half. He helps me through each day. I couldn't ask for better friends and family. Not everyone has as strong a support system as I do. I'm thankful for that everyday.
6. It's ok to ask for help. Sometimes you might need it right after it happens, other times it might be a while before you are ready to ask for help with healing.
I'm thankful for each of these things I've learned for they are making me a better person. I am stronger, more empathetic, less judgmental and I'm learning patience. I always said Kaleb was put on this earth to help me work on my patience and my peace making skills but he taught me so much more in his brief life.
As I wake up each day I'm going to find something to be thankful for that day, whether it's the sun in the sky, the ice tea I'm drinking for breakfast or the shoes on my feet. I'm going to remember to focus on the positives and work on making myself a better person to ensure that one day I'll see him again.
No comments:
Post a Comment